Here's your hat, what's your hurry?

Reading a book called "Kill 'Em and Leave: Searching for James Brown and the American Soul" by James McBride. Not a biography more like a conversation , a rumination, an appreciation, of James Brown- a very challenging character, to say the least.

The title refers to a basic credo of Brown's life, play the show, always be at the top of your game, take no prisoners, leave it all on the stage, drive the crowd wild. Then, after the show, go. You owe the audience a performance ,nothing more. No meet and greet. No shaking hands with dignitaries. No chit chat . No small talk.  "Come important, leave important "

Get paid. Do the show. In that order.

I recently directed a show at a theater I have worked at five or six times in the past. It's always been a nice experience. A few years back , when I was having a difficult time acting as care giver for my mom, they were very understanding. Much appreciated.

In general, they are a very social group. Lots of after rehearsal diner visits, opening night party, closing night party. I love the rehearsal process, putting things together, the process. When rehearsal is over, I'm done. I like to go home.

On the final night of the last show word got out that I wouldn't be attending the party. I hadn't said anything, but those who know me, know me. One of the cast members, a very nice fella and a member of the theaters board, came over to me before the show. We spoke a bit, I told him that I wouldn't be staying. Basically I don't enjoy social situations like this. He let me know that there would be some gifts and comic poems and songs. Not an incentive as far as I am concerned.

I rehearsed the show, treated the cast respectfully, embraced all of their contributions. Lots of fun. A strong production. My work is done. Am I sorry that some people might feel bad that I wasn't there?
No. Am I a jerk ? Maybe. There's an old joke - patient says"Doctor, Doctor, it hurts when I do this! ( insert some silly physical action here) " Doctor "So, don't do that"

I don't enjoy these situations, I don't go. (jerk?)

For as long as I remember, whenever I have been at parties or some big gathering, after a bit I would leave. An hour or so, walking around , talking to folks, laughing, telling stories, listening,- then something would tell me "time to go"

A few years back I was getting ready to head out, a friend of mine sidled up and said "Getting ready for an Irish Goodbye?" What? He then told me about the Irish Goodbye, it's a thing! Who knew? All these years, I've been carrying on a treasured cultural tradition. Or I had been a jerk .

I go to the movies by myself, always. I go to restaurants by myself . Travel all by myselfy. Long drives, me. Walks, me. Museums, me.

A bit aloof? Yeah. A mite neurotic? Oh ,yes. Do I end up living by myself sharing cat food with the feline?..........stay tuned.