......that guy

So the other night I wandering around Facebook (that mind numbing, soul robbing phenom) making my way through the acres of quiz results, when I came across a half dozen posts from one of my "friends"

He's at a concert and from the concert he is giving a play by play, or should I say song by song, breakdown of the show. Complete with lyrics and the memories that the songs are stirring.

May I make a suggestion? PUT DOWN THE DAMN PHONE AND WATCH THE SHOW!! ENJOY THE SONGS! If you must write about it , do it later at home!!!!!!!! BUT NOW WATCH THE SHOW!!

What the hell are we letting ourselves become? Can't we have an experience any more? Do we have to stand outside and comment on everything? We're becoming like the Japanese tourists (sorry Japan for the gross generalization) we all use to make fun of, who would travel the world and see everything thru the cameras viewfinder.

for the love of god........don't be that guy.

.......that guy

you're at an intersection- four way stop sign.

The guy, let's say the guy to your right is sitting there not moving, no blinker on- decides he's going to direct traffic , so he waves you on. You know that little flip of the wrist thing "go on! C'mon what are you waiting for?"

invariably he has tinted windows so you can barely see his pitiful wave anyway.

Don't be that guy.

penny candy

Is there a better television station than TCM? Don't think, I'll answer for you.......NO.-

Watched "GRAPES OF WRATH" Last night- it is August, time for SUMMER UNDER THE STARS, each day devoted to a different star. Yesterday , Henry Fonda.

There are so many incredible moments and performances in that movie, moments that even the casual movie fan are familiar with... "wherever there's a cop beatin' a guy , I'll be there..."

But as I watched the movie again last night there was a scene early on that took my breath away- Pa Joad and the two kids go into a diner and ask to buy a loaf of bread for 10 cents.

It can't possibly last much more than a minute and other than Pa and the kids all the actors are supporting players but it is played perfectly ,not one false note. It is filled with disdain and humility and misunderstanding and finally compassion and simple charity.

This scene could have gone soooooooooo wrong but it becomes a thing of simple beauty.

Get this movie- watch it again

behold!

ypou


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my favorite typo

halcion daze

I've spent the last few days out in the yard doing all of your basic spring clean up chores. I will admit I find this a very appealing way to spend a few hours.

It is remarkable how over the course of the winter the yard can get so...."primitive". Stuff is overgrown, other stuff is busted, still more stuff is rusted. You really get the sense that nature just lets us borrow the world for a while and when we are done nature will step back in and reclaim the whole darn thing. "No rush,Take your time, but do you see that little crack in the concrete? When you finish I Have a few weeds I'd like to see growing there"

Weeds. Thanks to the dandelions my front lawn looks like the poppy fields outside the emerald city (Oz not Seattle) Which brings to mind the spectacular lyric... "I'm afraid there's no denyin'/ I'm Just a Dandy Lion" from the Wizard of Oz,a lyric you couldn't get away with today. I digress......

So I go to the hardware store and get some Weed No More, or whatever it's called. Kills broadleaf weeds (ie dandelions) dead! I bring it home and read the directions- wear long sleeves, long pants, socks, shoes, rubber gloves, and eye protection when using this product. Very sound advice I'm sure.

So as I'm covered from head to toe spraying the invading army of unsightly greens my mind wanders back to those late summer days of my youth, when the mosquito truck would drive through the neighborhood. This was a pick up truck that had a gas powered spray thingy on the back which drove down the heavily populated (baby boom you know) streets of suburbia spewing clouds of sickly sweet bug killer into the air. Of course we responded the way any red blooded, dim witted american boy (and a few girls) would. We jumped on our bikes and followed this deathmobile for miles breathing in a constant fog of god knows what. To this day I am always suprised that the generation that we spawned weren't born with lobster claws for hands.

So for the time being I delude myself into thinking that I have won the war against the invading dandelion, but there's another one waiting to step in. and another and another and......

behold!

"well your friends with their fancy persuasions
won't admit that it's part of a scheme

but I can't help but have my suspicions
cause i ain't quite as dumb as i seem"

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great opening lyric from the song "How Long"
somebody is using it in a commercial now

found poetry

A few years back my nephew John went to Japan. As he regaled us with stories of his adventure two words got stuck in my head, they became a phrase- Japanese Toothbrush. I loved the sound of those words together. I wrote a song called- Japanese Toothbrush. In it I appropriated.....curated......borrowed....stole lines from other songs and strung them together with some random thoughts that were wandering around my head.

JAPANESE TOOTHBRUSH

I tossed and I turned
I didn't sleep at all last night

the sun was shining
but there was no light

I have a thousand questions
I need an answer or two

I met a thousand women
they all looked like you

I'm Packin' up my Japanese toothbrush
The one I bought back in Tokyo
Walking like a giant in a land of strangers
I'll stick around until it's time to go

Took one step forward
another two back

Tied myself to the rail road track

I drowned in the shallow water
the waves washed over me

each time I look in the mirror
who am i supposed to be

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All set to a punky -Irishy- Black 47- groove (another bit of larceny, but it works)

Don't ask me but i think it's about mortality.


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My friend Leia left a message on my phone the other day- little did she know she gave me my new two word obssession- Ukelele Hostage

I love those two words together!

..... that guy

i begin tonight a new blog within a blog! While my regular blog (less/more) celebrates my ever evolving relationship to the world. My first blog within a blog (behold!) is a list of some of the things that make a good day better.

The title of this new blog is- .... that guy. (as in" don't be that guy") Beware! it is a cautionary tale! a clarion call! a cry in the wilderness!

A year ago I went to a concert at the Bethel Woods Performing Arts center, site of the original Woodstock festival. A terrific venue to see a concert,great sound, wonderful atmosphere, . The show i saw was called Hippiefest and was a gathering of a half a dozen acts from the 60's playing short sets of their hits (or in some cases,hit)

Lots of bald,paunchy, middle aged guys- myself included. But there was a difference, lots of these guys were wearing tie dye t shirts. Bright multi colored t shirts that in most cases were strained over the mid section.

middle aged men in tie dye-- don't be that guy.

lessons learned

In the past year I have been watching an awful lot of those true life murder shows - 48 hours Mystery, Dateline (ah the glories of Keith Morrison, but that's another topic for another time.) and I have learned two very valuable lessons:

1) when you are stabbed and the weapon is still imbedded in the wound,DON"T TAKE IT OUT! Leave it there until medical attention arrives.

2) After you commit a murder and are questioned by the authorities make sure you weep and wail and perhaps cry out "Why? Oh WHY?" Otherwise everyone, authorities,neighbors,casual passerbys will comment on your lack of affect. " He was strangely quiet" lack of emotion= obvious guilt

behold!

" I am orange today, loud and messy like fingerpaint"

A great lyric from a wonderful song played behind a Dell computer commercial

a missive

The other day I was coming out of Stop and Shop with a basket full of groceries and as I was approaching my truck I saw something on the windshield!

A Ticket?!

A "Hey I smashed into your car but I don't have any insurance so I left this note" note?

No, It was a note from someone complimenting me on the selection of bumper stickers festooning the back o' the truck. In particular they were quite smitten with my musical taste.

a quick tour : Levon Helm Studio, Home of the Midnight Ramble
Asleep At The Wheel, Western Swing Ain't Dead, It's Asleep At the Wheel
Bob Dylan
The Fab Faux (the pre eminent Beatle tribute{?} band)
One Punch Nelson (my Brother Rob's Band)
Kings of the Wild Frontier, Rock and Roll, Good and Loud (my nephews and I)

Also: A New York Yankee Logo
READ (from the late Runaway bay Book store)

and a blank spot where someone stole my peace symbol (how low) Who do you think stole it? A Hippie down on his luck but who wanted to spread the good word or a conservative wingnut who felt personally betrayed by me flaunting the cause of peace.

So I thank this admirer of automotive expression for taking a moment out of his/her day to jot down a quick kudo and deliver it to my windshield

next time I'm at Stop and Shop I'll have to get me some Kudos. they're mighty tasty.

Old Chums

When i was a kid (10, 11, 12) I adored The Hardy Boy Books. All the boys in my neighborhood were fans so we would trade them back and forth. Mystery, Intrigue! and it all took place in Bayport! I lived right near Bayport! Of course my Bayport was real and Frank and Joe's was Fiction but that didn't stop me from imagining that all this derring do was happening a short bike ride away.

When I was 12 we spent the summer in the Catskills and one Sunday after Church we came upon a yard sale where they were selling 10 or so Hardy Boy books. I was set for the whole summer.

They had the checklist in the back of the book- How Many of these have you read? I took great delight in checking all the titles that I owned or read. But there was one title I could never find;The Hardy Boys Detective Handbook. I looked forever and could never find it....until about three years ago when I found four copies in a Barnes and noble . I bought them all. I gave two away as gifts but i kept the others- it gives me something to fall back on-maybe one day I'll be a great Detective like my chums.the Hardy Boys.

Of course what was the single greatest thing about all Hardy Boys Books? Why the last page or two of course ,when they were wrapping up the story and telling you that if you thought this tale was exciting wait til you read the next one! We're almost embarassed that we even wasted your time with this one because the next one........!!!!!!

once more, with feeling

About a year and a half ago I had a odd gig. A woman was having a birthday party and she wanted someone to come to the Party and do some readings. No particular theme- just some readings. And if the person doing the readings could arrive at the party while it was already in progress and mingle a bit and then read all the better.

Now usaully I run from these gigs at top speed (god knows I've done my fair share of these "trained chimp" gigs) But she's a lovely lady and a big Supporter of the Northport Community Theater so I agreed. (oh... and the pay was quite generous.)

The gig went very well- I put together a selection Of Tennessee Williams letters, Some Thornton Wilder,and of course... Shakespeare. The audience was a smart Lively bunch and we had some great conversation after the presentation. (one of the old gents at the party also made me a very robust scotch and soda- he had decided that scotch had to be my drink.I didn't have the heart to tell him that chocolate milk is my drink. So when I returned to rehearsal after the party it was very ....loose)

Anyway, I went to the party in the guise of "Mr. Broadway!" ,a character I had created a few years back for a cabaret show "curated" by a wonderful singer/actor/impresario Frank Russo."Mr Broadway!" is your classic ,know nothing-know it all. I have since discovered that some guy has trademarked the title "Mr. Broadway" so you'll notice I added the all important exclamation mark so that "Mr Broadway"tm and "Mr. Broadway!"will never be confused.

ANYWAY...as I was cleaning up a bit the other day I found my notes for "Mr. Broadway!"'s opening remarks at the party. they made me laugh.

here they are:

Wherever there are three or more people gathered together-I'll be there!
Wherever people celebrate good times with good friends-I'll be there!
Wherever there is the sound of laughter and the spirit of joy in the air- I'll be there!
Wherever there is free food and/or liquor-I'll be there!
For I am MR BROADWAY!

Yes,Mr Broadway! noted wit, buff, raconteur, gourmet, gourmand, bon vivant, lothario, part time stock clerk at the Rite Aid near Columbus Circle.

Mr.Broadway! Filled with an insatiable lust for life! A joie de vivre! a je ne se qua!
Mr.Broadway! Filled with the brisket from the Carnegie Deli!...late lunch.

Ah the sights and the sounds of the Great White Way! There's a broken heart for every light burning bright along that Glittering Gulch! And Mr.Broadway! is responsible for more than his fair share of broken hearts! (at this point of the party I hinted at some torrid nights spent with the birthday girl)

So many memories of nights spent on that Naughty Thoroughfare. I remember the first night I met Tennesse Williams at Sardis! What an unforgettable evening. The food, the wine! A star studded evening, I'm sure he never forgot it either. I confused him with Tennesse Ernie Ford and forced him to sing "16 Tons" 3 times in a row before Arthur Miller knocked me to the floor and told me to stop making goo-goo eyes at Marilyn.

--- at that point we moved into the readings.

a nice evening- even though i was the "trained chimp" a well paid chimp.