behold!

"the Irish Goodbye"


near the end of a party or social event, just leave.

I have been doing this my whole adult life, who knew it was a cultural thing.

crossroads of a million private lives........

Are you a people watcher? Do you enjoy sitting at the snack bar at Price Club (oops Costco) watching the crowds as they check out? Do you wonder why someone might possibly need 5 gallons of milk? Or , my favorite, Why someone would come all the way to the warehouse store, park, shop, and then wait on those long lines (no express in the warehouse) to get one rotisserie chicken?

If so you are my kinda guy/gal.

Of course the super bowl of people watching is to be found on the streets of midtown Manhattan. Oh the things you will see! Oh the stories you will be able to create! The cast of CHARACTERS !The faces, the clothes, the languages, the moods..... Bliss.

If you walk around with your eyes open you will see that most rarefied of all characters- the celebrity. I guarantee ever time you are wandering midtown ,if you are looking ,you will find some one of some renown. For the sake of argument I will define celebrity somewhat loosely- I have seen Martin Scorsese, Nathan Lane, Walter Cronkite, Ed Koch as well as Robert Benton, Phyllis Hyman, Jennifer Tilly and John McCuen. To me, all celebrities.

Now days of course with the contagion that is "reality" the definition has become all but meaningless. The other day I was in the City and missed , by just a scant few hours, the chance to gaze upon Kim Kardashian as she cut the ribbon on the new public Toilet facility in Times Square (sponsored By Charmin) Ah, the price of fame.

Of course, there have always been people who were Famous for being famous , Kardashians say Hello to the Gabors, but these days it would seem to be.....ah......debased?

Bill Murray had a wonderful line about fame (I paraphrase) - All these people who want to be rich and famous, try just being rich- see if that would work for you.

Odd thing,fame.

So, I'm in Penn Station the other night, about 10:15 standing around looking at that big board waiting to see what track my train will be on. Every once in a while I love to turn around and look at all the people looking up at the sign, watching people watching.

This night I see a familiar face, it takes me a second to process who this is, it's Julia Stiles- lovely young actress, great face. ( Years ago she was Ophelia in a modern re telling of hamlet - with Bill Murray as Polonius(!) and there was a long lingering close up of her face that was breathtaking)

She's wearing jeans and a jacket and a hat pulled low , but no mistaking ,it's her. She's saying goodbye to someone getting on the train and in that fleeting moment that I'm looking at her a guy walks right up to her without a word and takes her picture and then walks away.

What stunned me was that he didn't say a word, didn't ask if it was okay to take a picture and certainly no thank you after.

I know, no big deal, it's just a picture, but still it was a bit... shocking is probably too strong a word.......shocking.

a further bit of oddity was the fact that 15 feet away there was Julia Stiles on the cover of a magazine (I think Cosmo) looking all glam.

Fame ..ain't it a bitch. (aj benza)

Mekka Lekka Hi..........

I saw the Pee Wee Herman Show the other night.

My Reaction? Let me preface this by saying that I consider Paul Reubens a true show biz genius. I have loved all the different incarnations of Pee Wee, live midnight show, Movies, TV and now back on stage .While he is basically the same , there are subtle differences each time out, tailoring the character for his audience.

The show is a triumph- Pee Wee walks on stage, the crowd erupts in applause, lasting for minutes. He gets us to stand and say the Pledge of Allegiance and then the show really begins.

As the curtain opened revealing the Playhouse the Audience gasped in delight, I sat there with tears in my eyes. In a way the audience is returning to our OZ.

The show is unapologetically for Fans- people who never saw him before could certainly enjoy it ,but it is a love letter to folks who spent time in Puppetland. This is one of the things I love about Reubens, he knows and respects his audience- every detail,- costumes, set, jokes, songs, puppets -is perfect .

There are dozens of laugh out loud moments , believe or not there are lots of tender moments, and there are a few moments of jaw dropping theatricality- pee wee and chairy dance, a blackout scene that is both funny and "how the hell did they do that?"

If you saw the original stage show , you will remember that it ends with Pee Wee flying ,courtesy of a delightful bit of "home made" stagecraft. Tremendous. Well now, nearly 30 years later that bit is reprised and then after a few moments (I'm getting goose bumps thinking about it) he rises off the stage and flies. The audience hoots and hollers and cheers! At this point we all know there ain't no special effects involved ,Pee Wee is Flying! Of course he is.

I can't remember another show that inspires such joy and affection from an audience. We Love PW and are so happy to be there.

Go hang by the stage door after the show, Paul/ Pee Wee comes out and spends a lot of time talking with the crowd, complete with a Pee Wee style megaphone. No autographs are signed, but he is funny and charming and sincere as he tells the audience how much it means to him that people come to see the show and that they come to spend time with him after. The feelings of Joy and affection are obviously mutual.

side note- How great is it that The Pee Wee Herman Show opened the Stephen Sondheim Theater. Two great artists forever linked ( I write without irony or snark)

another side- in one of those photos the flash at crotch level is unfortunate but otherwise I like that picture.sorry Pee Wee.

the Friendly Skies.....

There is an iconic scene in the movie Five Easy Pieces ( i was kind enough to post it below). Jack (no last name needed) is ordering breakfast. He is very specific about what he would like. He is told "No Substitutions". A stand off- things escalate. A rebel stands up to "the man". He won't be pushed around by mindless bureaucracy.

great scene. (oh by the way the dark haired actress in the booth- Toni Basil. "Oh Mickey")

Classic '70s.

A dozen or so years ago,I was listening to an interview with the legendary author, radio guy, raconteur, Studs Terkel, and the subject of this scene came up.

Studs made the point that he felt for the waitress who was trying to take the orders. Middle aged woman, long hours, low pay, on her feet all day and here was this wise ass coming in giving her a hard time.

Hmmmmmm Food for thought (no substitutions though)

I remembered this scene and Studs take on it, this weekend as the TSA battle played out on TV, Radio, web..........

I am privacy boy, so the idea of the scanner and/or the pat down makes me crazy. I am all for safety but there has to be a more effective way of screening than treating everyone as suspects.The shoe removal, the liquid ban, the scanners, we always seem to be one step behind.

I don't pretend to have any answers , but our reaction can't continually be knee jerk.

oh back to my point, As horrible as the stories are of the people who are being patted down by insensitive agents, I think about the agents who are standing there 12 hours a day (totally made up that number) listening to a steady stream of nastiness AND having to pat down everybody who opts out of the scanner.

My heart goes out to the guy/gal who has to be running his/her hands all over my fat ass (and the millions like it) all day long. No excuse to be nasty and thoughtless and to abandon common sense, but wow that is not a job I would want.

Many years ago a paramour and I went camping in Florida (Disneyworld) The airline lost our luggage- you know all our clothes AND OUR TENT! The thing we planned sleeping in for the week. Upset? oh yes, but I will say as I was dealing with the lost luggage guy I was thinking "There ain't enough money in the world to pay someone to do this everyday"

Those TSA folks would change places with lost luggage guy in a heartbeat

Five Easy Pieces Diner Scene

I'm also the president of the company......

About 25 years ago (!) a fine actor and a great friend of mine, BVH, played Daddy Warbucks in a production of Annie.

Billy, being the consummate professional, shaved his head for the part. Way back when ,nobody had a shaved head (or to be more technical a baldy bean). People would stop and stare.

I just opened a show last week and half of the men in the show have shaved heads, We have one of the guys wearing a hat and another wearing a wig to try to cut down on the glare.

My hair and I parted company many years ago, good riddance. I had long curly hair back in high school and college and loved it (think Mark Volman of the Turtles) . Never had a problem with losing the hair, oddly enough I was more irked going gray.

I never did the full shave of the head- I do cut it very short though. I got one of those electric hair cutter things about ten years ago and have been DYI-ing it ever since. I even give myself a lollipop after a hair cut.

Way back when we would get our hair cut at Vinnie the Barber in the local shopping center- Saturdays there would be three barber chairs going and still you would have to sit and wait for fifteen or twenty minutes. Plenty of magazines ("Hey Ralph, Esquire! Va va voom") and comic books in the back. I was always spellbound by Vinnie the Barber and his fellow barbers , who would be constantly chatting in Italian, very animated and very passionate. Non stop.

Lots of the shaved head brigade sport a goatee. A very peculiar cut of facial hair if you ask me. I have one right now, mostly because without it....chins....chinese phonebook.

I've worn a mustache since my early twenties- I shaved a few times for a show, but mostly thirty years of stash. I could never grow a beard until about six years ago and since then it comes and goes. I love it until that morning arrives (never planned) when I just shave the damn thing off. A beard is a very demanding mistress, needs a lot of tending or else you end up looking like Hobo Joe.

My Beard- snow white. Yes .I have had it around the holidays a few times and have essayed the role of Santy Claus.

Years ago had one of those three o'clock in the morning conversations with friends about whether it was stranger to have hair on your face or to shave that hair off.

I forget what we decided, it was three o'clock in the morning.

food pyramid

please enjoy a healthy treat from our snack bar

alee,epee,orr,ott

Like many in my family I am a man of obsessions.

If I am interested in something, I'll dive right into the deep end.

And as I thrash and dog paddle to stay afloat , I will construct/deconstruct a reason(s) why what I am obsessed with is fascinating.

A new passion- crossword puzzles. Over the years I would pick up a paper and do a few words while waiting for the chinese food. Way back when a paramour and I would sit and do the Sunday Times crossword. My relationship with puzzles was fleeting and haphazard, like most of my relationships. (oh, snap!)

In the past year I have climbed the high board and cannonballed into the pool. At first I became intrigued because of the claim that puzzling could help ward off Dementia and his pal Alzheimer. Of course "the experts" will now tell you that keeping the brain active, while admirable, has no effect on D and A. This week we are told that MEGA Doses of vitamin B might help. Next month . place a piece of raw calf's liver in your left shoe.

So I started puzzles, bought a book, bought two or three more. During the week I get the Post, the Daily News and the Times, that's 4 puzzles a day! (well actually 5- the Post has a quick crossword and The Times of London crossword, which I can't figure out)

Hey! you know what? The National Enquirer has two good puzzles every week. I can hear you snickering and shaking your head in judgement, but the puzzles are good and I can keep up on Brangelina.

(Good Puzzle, a definition- One that I can finish, or come close, and that presents some challenge)

My favorite is the puzzle in New York Magazine- I can finish it! There is a nice combo of Easy stuff and What the....? And best and most important, It's Funny. Lots of wit in the clues and I can even forgive them for some grown inducing puns.

Most days I'll have a couple of puzzles going at a time. (BIC ballpoint pen, black ink)

There is one constant in all of my obsessions ,I adore the process- the long ,strange trip that gets you to the end. The first look at the puzzle can be daunting, but step by step, clue by clue, you get there. For a few minutes you can get stuck and then one answer leads to eight more.

I told my pal Melissa that I like blogs that deal in Minutia. Doesn't get much more minute than this .

ps A few times I did a puzzle and for a change of pace wrote with my left hand- after 20 minutes or so my brain ached. That was not a metaphor ,my head hurt.

pps off Topic, I watched a few episodes of the reality series CIRCUS on PBS. God I hate all those people. Hate might be a strong word....loathe, I loathe them

a moments idle

ooops Haven't written in a while,And I was really geting into the swing of it. I'll return I promise myself.

A quick observation- You know what vile oath you don't hear anymore? Sh*t head.

I always thought was a very effective phrase. I guess like everything else ,there is a natural ebb and flow in the world of vile oaths. Maybe one day Sh*t head will return , hey it just dawned on me that was the name of Steve Martin's dog in The Jerk. Come back Little Shithead!

When I was in college I had a T shirt with the motto "Get your Sh*t Together" written on it. Beneath that was an R. Crumb drawing of two smiling Turds shaking hands. I bought it, but could never work up the nerve to wear it in public.

I chose to keep my Sh*t in a drawer