The ghost of Christmas just passed........

Christmas flew under my radar this year.

I am astonished that it has already been and gone. For the years I worked at the late (as of today, when the doors closed for the last time) lamented Airport Playhouse, the holidays were the busiest time of year. The childrens show would be running three performances a day from Thanksgiving on. At night whatever extravaganza was on the main stage was extravaganzing- many times this was a musical revue constructed in house. All the while we were preparing for new years eve , putting together Two shows (!) for that one night. A comedy that would run early in the evening and then the after midnight cabaret. Believe me, during those years I knew it was Christmas time.

Before my days on the wicked stage- I would spend my December immersed in preparations for midnight mass, rehearsing new material for the Mass as well as the pre- mass cabaret, oops, concert. Again, you knew it was Christmas.

In my family we used to buy gifts for everyone- adults , kids, pets. As the family grew so did the list and the cost. Now we do a " not so secret Santa" thing- at Thanksgiving, everybody over 21 picks a name out of a hat and you get that person a gift.

I used to enjoy shopping for the masses, I was known for the odd, eccentric, gifts thoughtfully chosen for each person. Lots of fun, but time consuming and at times daunting- everyone wanted a unique gift, no socks and underwear.. Now , just the one.

I got my shopping done in one day- so that was the extent of my exposure to the outside world and Christmas.

I did watch one holiday special, Charlie Brown... of course. what a perfect show, and unabashedly religious.

I suspect that the real reason my radar did not blip Christmas is that I have lost contact with Linus' message. The true meaning of Christmas.

Like many middle aged Irish Catholics, i would have to check the "lapsed" box on the "What kind of Catholic are you questionnaire" As a matter of fact years ago I was filling in the personal info section on an on-line dating website (don't ask) and came upon the religion question. Hmmm , Catholic? Well not really, I'm not even a Christmas/Easter Catholic anymore. I'm more of a Wedding/funeral Catholic. Atheist? Oh, no, too certain. Agnostic? Always seemed kinda wimpy to me.

What the Hell/heck am I? Earlier today it dawned on me- my religion had atrophied, shrivelled from lack of use. When I go to a wedding/funeral all the prayers and responses trip off my tongue, they're all in there, just not used all that often. Atrophied.

So perhaps I should create a new label- I AM AN "ATROPH"

Here is an example of why I cannot totally discount the existence of a God. This will perhaps sound flip, but I am serious.

When you look around you constantly see evidence of a sense of humor in the world, a cosmic joke, an over riding sense of absurdity. You need an intelligence to see it and to create it.
Example: It took me two days to dig the house and car out of the snow- exhausting , back breaking labor. Then finally, done! So, now I walk back to the garage to put away the shovel and the second I reach the door a huge plow drives down the street and pushes two feet of snow back into the driveway.

A joke, right? On Me? Yes! By who?........

I'm serious.

There is another bit of proof which is grace; which can act as a sanctuary during trying times.
Someday, maybe, I'll write about grace and me.

ps I was at the theater a bit today as the seats were being removed and the curtains taken down- what a terrible loss. Heartbreaking.